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The current year represents a ten-year milestone since the term “ghosting” entered the common lexicon. Back then, the idea that someone could instantly end all contact with a partner without any notice seemed like the height of indignity. How naive we were. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a mate has only become more bewildering – an commonly pointless pursuit in humiliation that is increasingly shaped by online slang.

Zoomers, a cohort who matured during a social isolation epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a coordinated challenge on the rights of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a far messier environment than their Gen Y predecessors could ever envision. And so their dating lexicon has grown more extensive and more bizarre, with phrases like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” pushing the boundaries of your sanity.

Below is a comprehensive guide to the terms this generation is using to navigate love, intimacy and the pursuit of both. To channel one of the recent most enduring online sayings, by the conclusion of this list you’ll ache to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Genuineness – According to gen Z, romance's ultimate goal is showing up as your true, raw self. Best wishes with that!

The Letter B

Feathered friend test – A TikTok trend inspired by a framework developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and note whether your date's response is engaged or dismissive. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Black cat girlfriend – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner focuses on her own needs while exuding enigma and independence. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Support test – This means going for someone who supports you proactively. If you entered a room, they would fetch a seat for you to sit down.

Errand romance – A outing where two people connect while running errands, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped twentysomethings do budget-friendly romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Melting down – Having a breakdown when you feel burdened by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or breakup, venting all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

DINK – Double income, no kids. Once a signifier of 1980s young urban professional excess, it describes partners who opt out of parenthood to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of being guarded: practicing dialogue, transparency and vulnerability.

F

Flags

• Warning signs – Personal quirks indicating a prospective partner is trouble. For instance calling their former partners unstable, poor gratuity habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Good indicators – These traits validate your decision to pursue a partner. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, low phone use, having a proper bed …
• Odd but harmless traits – These usually describe specific, mostly inoffensive quirks. For instance being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still carrying around a pen in their bag, paying rent in physical money …

Freak matching – When you meet someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who hates the same things or people that you do (few things creates intimacy faster than sharing a common enemy).

G

The band Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy listens to.

Ghostlighting – Someone who pops back into your life after a length of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and devoted. The uncommon partner who is beloved by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's opposite.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online subculture of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt marathon sessions, intentionally delaying orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A trend describing many women’s increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An archetype promoted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and happily home-oriented, who seemingly has no aspirations of her own aside from satisfying her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and frequently trivial dealbreakers that immediately extinguish any sense of desire.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an extremely sweet display.

J

Jobs – These have not been this important in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ultimate catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd seek out partners in sectors they see as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: healthcare workers, educators or counselors.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, scientists learned that kissing has existed for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be numbered since some gen Z desire fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy realistic.

Kittenfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {